Lonely Pursuits
The Year of Aesthetics №49 2022–11–29
I have gravitated towards pursuits were one is alone in the endeavor. I have professional life that is rather public and very much dependent on a community of engineers and this job has taken me across the world. I am very social and like people and even love being in a large crowd in people and crowds. I feel great at parties and concerts and these things give me energy and are important part of life.
I find if you are going to venture into any serious artistic or aesthetic endeavor it is not going to be a profit generator (it will be a cost) and it will be a sink of time. This makes in this era until you get an idea established a hard row to colablerate on. This makes things something you have to go it alone on. At work where IP and promotion are available I have countless collaborators and I can even asks for those who I need to work with, the paradox is in the arts which hold my interest outside of work it is hard to share much more than a small part of ones idea. Possibly in the arts there is more credit and shielding of ideas or the cost of collaboration is too high.
Luckily I run into fellow travelers and those who are interested in ones work. These people who frame a print or listen to a song are vital. Paid teachers keep you on the right track. Practice and studies and long nights on reading projects will most likely to be alone. Especially at the armature level. I have been of mixed personality and can go very social or introverted, and I have artistic seasons that wax and wane.
Many of my projects are driven by my tendency to be too bookish and the need to branch away from reading. I have a hard time slogging through things I am not motivated to do. Painting has seasons where it is all I want to do while when things get busy I put it to the side. My reasons often are very independent of possible collaborators.
Starting younger gives more opportunity for collaboration as I see with my daughters musical exploration and in the arts. She is also gifted and well trained with great teachers which makes her value as a collaborator really hard, but she practices every day and has lessons often and on those things she also toils on the more lonely path.
I have found many more fellow travelers in the world of music. Musicians have to practice and struggle, they are happy to meet someone who knows it is worth the struggle. I hope I gain the skills to play with my fellows, I think this will become an actuality.
There is little complaint here, I have to drag myself away from lonely pursuits into the world, which is filled with vibrance and charm. I just recognize that you may have to be alone to get things you want done.